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09 March 最近的决定空间转回MSN，因为QQ那边有太多亲戚会看到我不想他们看到的东西，会变成他们教育我的把柄...
最近做了一个决定，报考了居委会，虽然不是那么认头，但现在的我毕竟成熟了。因为进入居委会目前唯一能提供给我的就是稳定，至少三年的稳定。也正是我目前最需要的。因为人事斗争也好，因为性格使然也好，抑或因为我太傻太老实，不懂得时时刻刻用钱买好也好，这么多次的失业让我和我的家人都很累。虽然家里人什么也不说，但我知道他们一直在担心着我。虽然这次失业，他们知道并不是我的错，但毕竟是失业了，他们很担心我会从此意志消沉。事实上也确实消沉过一阵，可是看着他们担心的样子，告诉自己坚强起来，要把痛苦埋得深深的，这样他们才会安心。我的父母就是这样，一切以我为中心，我高兴他们也高兴，我难过他们也不好受。也告诉过他们不要这样，要为自己而活，不要为了我委屈自己，但哪个家长能真正做到呢？哪个家长能不担心孩子呢？虽然我已经算不上孩子了。考试成绩还没下来，但希望能有稳定的三年吧。期间再有何发展，就要看我有多努力了。至少在这里，我的努力能够得到回报，而不是单纯成为别人的垫脚石。
01 September GOT SO PISSED OFF!YOU KNOW WHY I'M SO PISSED OFF? BECAUSE THAT'S NOT MY JOB.IT'S YOURS. AND YOU SHOULD GET EVERYTHING READY BEFORE YOU LEFT. 19 August FRUSTRATEDSOMETIMES,NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU'VE TRIED, HOW MANY COMPROMISE YOU'VE MADE,THERE'S NOTHING CAN BE CHANGED.THEY WILL NEVER GIVE YOU A PRAISE. IN THEIR EYES, YOU STILL A GEEK,FOREVER. YOUR JOB IS ONLY ENTERTAIN THEM. FEEL SO BAD TODAY, WITH A BROKEN HEART. SO I DIDN'T WAIT FOR THE CAR AND LEFT BY MYSELF.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I AM GETTING MORE AND MORE TIRED. YOU SAID I HAVE MORE FREE TIME THAN YOU DO. AND YOU GOT A LOT OF THINGS TO DO. WHY DON'T WE SAY YOU HAVE SO MANY "OTHER" THINGS TO DO, SO DON'T HAVE TIME TO FINISH THE REAL THINGS? YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SO SICK OF THIS! WHEN I WAS BUSY, WHERE R U? U DIDN'T GIVE ME ANY HELP, SO WHY SHOULD I? OK! YOU HAVE SOMEONE TO PROTECT U.SO U CAN DO WHATEVER U WANT. NO ONE WILL BLAME U FOR ANYTHING. I'M REALLY REALLY SICK OF THIS!!!
ACTUALLY I WANT TO QUIT THIS JOB, BUT DON'T HAVE OTHER PLACE TO GO. SO FRUSTRATED... Pathetic Me!I'VE BEEN THINKING OF DEATH OVER AND OVER.BUT DON'T BRAVE ENOUGH. STILL THINKING ...THINKING... 16 August People changed, so everything changed.日子一天天的过去，年纪一年年的增加，当初的傲气，当初的抱负，当初的棱角已经消磨殆尽。人们常说，机会是由自己创造的，要自己把握。我却总是错过的那一个。也许这就是命吧。当初的理想并没有放弃，却逐渐被现实磨平，不再那么锋利，不再那么执着，是认命了吗？一直觉得自己很可悲，总是与机遇失之交臂。觉得自己很可悲，因为一直在勉强自己做不愿意的事。我快乐吗？No, I am not！
Now, I decide to update here in English! Because my collegue or some people who knows me will not understand what I write. Maybe here can be a another home for me. Maybe, just maybe.
So dissapoint about real world.I need a place to rest my heart. So tired.
08 August 真TM让人寒心最近一个曾今让我很信任的同事让我非常寒心。又再次被人背叛了，我的臭毛病还是改不了...呵呵！试问我从未做过对不起你的事。做人要讲良心的！我也没让你带我去办过私事，但凡让你带我出去办事，都是公事。我不忙么？不错，别人是很忙，但我忙的时候你在干什么？？？你敢摸着良心说我天天什么都不干，天天闲着么？？？你的良心在哪里？？？不错，她最近是很忙，但不代表我无事可做。大家都有分工，你没看到并不代表我什么都没做！只是她的工作是负责对外，我的工作是对内而已。我敢摸着良心说，我干的活绝对不比她少！分工不同而已！你敢么？？？我敢！我敢摸着良心说，我绝对对得起我拿的那点工资！真不明白人怎么就变得那么快！！！ 25 June 随便很久没有更新这里了，因为最近msn比较抽风，经常上不来，打不开，讨厌！最近转向Q-Zone了，还弄了个黄钻，一边把空间布置的更漂亮。今天更新完这里，不知道下次会是啥时候了~哈哈哈~最近心情也就那么回事。不好也不坏。垃圾！ |
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